The
following assumes that you are interested in or considering transitioning
female to male. Transition is in fact not the only
choice available to you. Some choose to live more androgynously
as genderplayers, and challenge the notions that society has about
gender. Others are happy with part-time crossdressing, either alone,
with a significant other, and / or with a community. There are also
those who look at the difficulties with transition, the potential
loss of friends / loved ones, the social biases they would have
to face, and choose not to change (or to wait) -- and they also
often become a part of the crossdressing community.
It
is the belief of this site that no choice is an invalid choice.
A transsexual may have a wider range of experience in some areas
than a crossdresser, but that by no means makes the crossdresser's
experiences or motivations any less valid. If a transsexual chooses
to remain non-operative, that is his prerogative, and does not somehow
make him ingenuine. A transsexual who chooses to slip into hiding
in society once they pass, or a crossdresser who remains in hiding
are no less worthy because they choose to live in stealth -- it
takes a very specific type of person to be an activist, and this
responsibility should not be expected of everyone. These are all
valid choices, and given the exact same circumstances in our own
lives, we might be compelled to make those exact same decisions.
Ours is a fractured and marginalized community as it is. We need
to find our commonalities, respect our differences, and find our
strength together (even those living in stealth are more than welcome
to the information and support on this site). We are sometimes all
that we have.
The
Official Process
If you need
to transition (whether male-to-female or female-to-male), the official
process is long, and you will have to be certain and committed.
Once you begin, you make serious changes to your body that often
cannot be reversed. Also, the waiting lists for the doctors who
oversee this process are extremely long.
That's the bad
news. There is good as well. But it is not a decision to be made
lightly.
1)
The Gatekeepers.
Gender Identity
Disorder (transition is currently addressed as a mental health issue)
is not something that many psychiatrists deal with. At the moment,
the two doctors referred to as the "Gatekeepers," who
can start the process, are Drs. M. Warneke and J.H. Brooks. Dr.
Brooks is working one day a week. Both doctors are based in Edmonton
-- Dr. Warneke at the Gender Identity Clinic at the Grey Nuns Hospital
and Dr. Brooks at F.A.C.S. downtown. There seems to be no new developments
in doctors taking up the practice in Calgary.
In order to
see them, you will need to get referred to them by your G.P. If
you don't have a family doctor, a walk-in clinic doctor will be
able to do so for you as well -- however, every doctor's reaction
is different, and some may refuse to do so, or may say they'll refer
you, only to later say the referral must have been lost in interoffice
mail. It is also possible to get a referral from a psychologist
or another psychiatrist.
Once the referral
is sent, you may still have to wait a long time for your appointment.
Dr. Warneke's waiting list spanned over 9 months at last hearing,
and at times has been over 1 year. Dr. Brooks may not be taking
on new cases. Do not harass the clinic -- it will not get you seen
faster. However, you can call the clinic a week after your referral
request to make sure that they received it. You can also request
at that time to be put on a cancellation list, meaning that if there
is a cancellation sooner, you might be able to get in at that time.
It can shorten your wait considerably.
One way
to cope with the waiting period is to proceed as best you can
with transition with your G.P.'s assistance, preferably also with
the help of a supportive psychiatrist or psychologist and an endocrinologist.
It is possible to begin your "real-life test" (RLT, i.e.
living completely as female) before meeting with Drs. Warneke
and/or Brooks (make sure there is a paper trail, so that you can
point to an accurate date that you went to living full-time), and
it is also possible to find a G.P., endocrinologist or psychiatrist
to prescribe hormones and monitor them. In this way, by the time
you first meet Dr. Warneke or Dr. Brooks, yours may be more a question
of finalizing the details before surgical funding is approved. For
one point of reference, Calgary psychologist Dr. Kevin Alderson
specializes in Gender Identity Disorder, and has a specialty
list for his practice.
2)
Hormones.
Drs. Warneke
and Brooks are able to refer you to an endocrinologist once you
pass your initial interviews. It is the endocrinologist who prescribes
the hormones, and is best able to monitor this part of the physical
process. Your G.P. is actually able to do this as well, but many
don't as most are unfamiliar with proper hormone levels required
for transition, or are relatively inexperienced with this.
It is not recommended
to take "black market" (non-prescribed) hormones. However,
if you do start doing so, please discuss this with your doctor --
most, if they know that you are doing this, feel ethically compelled
to continue the process, so that your health can be monitored.
On the other
hand, if you are seeing a doctor for this, make sure to educate
yourself on hormone regimens -- Hudson's
FTM Resource Guide has several links that will help you glean
information on hormone regimes (as well as several other bits of
advice) as well as Nick Gorton.org.
The Transhealth program in Vancouver also has a PDF
which discusses both FTM and MTF hormone regimens. An unfamiliar
doctor may prescribe levels too low to be effective.
The effects
of hormones always range depending on the types used and the individual
physiology. Not everyone will be affected the same way. However,
transmen usually do experience significant increase in energy and
sex drive, gradual increase in strength, some periods of anxiety
and aggressiveness, and some clarity of emotion. If they are genetically
predisposed to it, they can experience male pattern hair loss. Facial
hair growth will increase over several months, but the amount and
quality can be variable. It is possible that after full transition,
a person's facial and body hair might still be fine and sparse --
genetics once again play a big part, here.
3)
Standards of Care and the Real Life Test.
Current medical
practices follow the Harry Benjamin
Standards of Care. Currently, the medical community treats Gender
Identity as a mental health issue, even though there are now provocative
medical theories that may lead to a biomedical theory of causation.
The HB SoC guides psychiatrists in this process, and dictates much
of how transition is handled. The theory is that there needs to
be a real life test, roughly a year in length, in which the patient
lives and works full-time as their chosen gender. This RLT needs
to be fulfilled before SRS surgery is prescribed, and partial fulfillment
of this is sometimes considered required before prescribing hormones
or lesser surgeries. There are cases, including patients who are
older or with certain medical conditions, in which the gatekeepers
might see fit to shorten this period. But the point of it is to
make sure that the person transitioning will be able to function,
live and work as their preferred gender and that they are fully
committed to doing so.
4)
Lesser Surgeries and Concerns.
These can differ
from person to person. Fortunately, most of the FTM surgeries do
not fall under cosmetic classification (in which case, the costs
would not be covered under health care). Unfortunately, however,
transitioning FTM requires several major surgeries (hysterectomy,
mastectomy, and a number of options for GRS surgery).
FTMs are lucky
in the beginning of the process, because they can pass very quickly
(unfortunately, they have the much harder time on the surgery side
of things). Testosterone will actually help deepen their voices
considerably.
5)
GRS.
"Sexual
Reassignment Surgery" (or Gender Reassignment Surgery, as it's
starting to be called) is very different depending on the direction
of transition. For female-to-male transfolk, several surgeries are
involoved. The first is mastectomy, the second is hysterectomy,
and then there are anywhere between one and three bottom surgeries,
depending on the mode preferred. In the case of phalloplasty, for
example, the first bottom surgery constructs the male parts using
skin grafts taken from forearm or thigh, and the second takes place
usually a year afterward, to install a pump for functionality (a
third surgery is required to construct the testicles). Unfortunately,
the bottom surgeries are not as perfected, results tend to be mixed,
and satisfaction with this part of the process is much lower than
with MTFs. We remain on the lookout for a clinic that has better-perfected
this procedure, but much of the trouble resides in the fact that
constructing a functioning penis is a very difficult feat to accomplish.
Maybe someday,
we can do transplants. :D
The doctors
at the GRS clinic in Montreal
have an excellent website which has a Flash-based function that
details the procedures that they perform. And in Alberta, SRS is
currently covered by Alberta Health Care, for those who are deemed
eligible for it.
Before all of
this, it is an extremely good idea to get out into the trans
community, meet like-minded folks, and get a good feel for whether
this is for you. Chances are, you'll meet some great, supportive
people, and get a chance to get a balance of information, and some
idea of where you will be on the other side of this journey. It
is invaluable to have people to turn to with those questions and
concerns unique to our process.
Surgical
results always depend on the procedures used, and the individual's
ability to recover. The older a person is, the less resilient they
are, and the more difficulties there can be. FTMs have the unfortunate
situation of having several surgeries to undergo, and the bottom
surgeries still have mixed results.
Mastectomy
-- For many FTM's this is the first and most life-changing surgery.
There's no more binding or layering up and it's easier to pass --
great to be able to wear just a t-shirt in the summer.
There are two main types of top surgery. One is double incision
and is better suited for bigger chested guys. Two incisions are
made under the pecs and these are used to remove excess tissue and
excess skin. The nipples and aeriolas are taken right off, re-sized
and grafted back on in the proper location. The downside is that
there will always be scars. Depending on how well or badly the person
scars and how hairy they are, the scars may or may not be noticable.
They do fade eventually. The scars may be two straight or curved
lines under the pecs and they may also meet in the middle. Some
surgeons are not very good at re-sizing nipples and their patients
may end up with 2 circles of aeriola and no actual nipple in the
middle but that can be fixed later or just pierce the middle and
voila, you have a nipple. Better yet, if your nipples are small
enough to pass, just ask the surgeon to leave the nipple attached
to the aeriola and just resize that.
(note:
although double-incision is a procedure of choice among doctors
in Alberta, there is a high rate of failure when it comes to the
nipple part of the surgery. The majority of FTMs I've known who
had nipples removed during surgery have ultimately lost them and
much of the feeling in that region. If you're particularily attached
to yours, you might want to see if other procedures are an option.)
The other type of surgery is better suited to small chested guys
and comes in a couple of variations, it may be called keyhole or
peri-aeriolar and it varies between surgeons and the size of the
chest if skin is removed and how much. Some surgeons do this as
a two stage surgery, first removing excess tissue by going in at
the side or bottom of the aeriola and a few months later after seeing
how much the skin contracts they may cut around the aeriola and
remove excess skin. If this is done on bigger chested guys, there
is too much skin to remove to be able to close it nicely around
the aeriola which may result in pleats in the skin and a not so
good result. The only scar is around the aeriola so this can be
a very nice result if it goes well.
Both procedures might have problems with too much tissue being left
or (worse) not enough. Nipples can get infected or end up looking
misshapen. With double incision, skin might bunch up at the ends
of the incisions (dog ears) and with peri-aeriolar, it might pleat
around the nipple. Some surgeons will do fix-ups on their work for
free. Otherwise, talk to AHC about needing a revision and see if
they will cover it. Most guys will probably not need a revision.
When choosing a surgeon, ask around. The main surgeons doing FTM
chests in Alberta have done many and so it would be possible to
get in touch with other guys and see actual results from that surgeon.
Make sure you are comparing results from guys with your body type
and similar size before surgery. You will get better results if
you are at your ideal weight and have worked out a bit before surgery
but if you don't have the drive to do that, don't despair. We don't
all have to look like Brad Pitt.
You should take it easy after top surgery even if you feel good
because moving around too much might make you scar worse. You should
not be reaching for things or lifting anything heavy for at least
a couple of weeks and not lifting weights for at least 6 weeks,
12 would be better. Different people may give you different advice
on what to put on your scars. The safest bet is to put nothing at
all or use silicone sheets especially sold for scarring. Oils can
actually make your scars worse by keeping the scar tissue moist
and allowing it to stretch while it's forming. After your scars
are healed, you can massage them to break up the scar tissue.
(note:
some have tried liposuction in lieu of mastectomy, but be aware
that liposuction only takes care of fatty deposits and does not
do anything at all about other tissue and ducts. The most serious
drawbacks to liposuction are that one lipo is usually not enough,
and a person is usually left with loose "bag-like" skin
that may not look right when shirtless, depending on original bust
size.)
Hysterectomy
-- After starting T (testosterone), there should be no more periods
-- but sometimes these parts will start to get a bit crazy after
a couple of years on T, resulting in cramps and other problems.
Some say they masculinized faster after getting the hysto but for
most guys, the ovaries should atrophy after starting T and shouldn't
be producing too much estrogen anymore. Some believe that a hysto
is not necessary for FTM's and it's true that it's not really proven
that FTM's have a higher rate of problems with these parts than
women but why take the chance? Besides, if you want bottom surgery,
you will need the hysto first.
There are two main types of hysto available. Abdominal incision
and laprascopically assisted. Some surgeons prefer one method over
the other. Abdominal incision requires making a 6" cut on the
belly. The scar may be vertical from the belly button down to the
pubic bone, possibly in the middle or off a bit to one side. It
also could be a bikini line cut, sitting horizontally in the crease
between the belly and pubic area. Some guys like the vertical scar
better because it can be explained by a variety of surgeries but
with the bikini line scar, nobody should really see it anyway. The
recovery time is usually around 6 weeks before going back to work.
The laprascopically assisted hysto requires making 3-4 small incisions
on the belly to stick in cameras and surgical tools and then the
parts are broken up and passed out through the vagina. Some surgeons
will say that this method has a higher complication rate but studies
show that if a surgeon is properly trained in using it, the complication
rate with the two methods is about the same. The recovery time is
much shorter, around 3 weeks.
What should be removed during an FTM hysto is the uterus and cervix
along with the ovaries. During recovery, it's good to walk a lot
but not too many stairs, no running and no lifting. Make sure you
have moved things around in your house so you will not have to reach
or bend for things too much and that you have stocked up on groceries.
Clitoral
release -- Testosterone causes the clitoris to grow, sometimes
it ends up being 2-3" long. The surgeon can release the clitoris
from the body to make it feel more like a small penis. When this
is done and nothing else, that is called a clitoral release. The
vagina and urethra are not touched for this operation.
Metoidioplasty
-- This goes a step further than clitoral release to reconfigure
the genitals to a male configuration. The vagina is closed off by
scraping the lining out of it and letting it collapse and heal shut.
The outer labia is used to make a scrotum. The clitoris is released
and lifted up and the labia minora used to form the bottom of the
new penis. The urethra is extended to the tip of the new penis using
the vaginal lining for the inside of it. This is a fairly small
surgery, three weeks in Montreal and back to work anywhere from
3 to 6 weeks after surgery. Testicle implants can be done 6 months
later and require another 3 weeks off work but only 3 days in Montreal.
The surgery results in a small penis but normally with excellent
sensation. It only utilizes what the person has so if they did not
get a lot of growth, it will be very small. Many guys with meta's
can not pee standing up through their fly because it's too small
to reach. It has some erectile function, but it is often considered
not enough for intercourse.
The complication rate is maybe around 50% and complications would
usually have something to do with the urethra. Scar tissue can constrict
the urethra (stricture) or the urethra springs a leak (fistula).
Low level strictures can be dilated and low level fistulas can heal
on their own. More severe ones might need surgical repair.
Phalloplasty
-- The phalloplasty is the only surgery that results in
a full size penis, although they normally do not look exactly like
a normal penis or function like one. The vagina is closed, the scrotum
formed and urethra extended just like when doing a meta but that
is where the similarities end. The penis is made from flesh, muscle
and nerve tissue taken from elsewhere on the body. The clinic that
Alberta Health refers to (Montreal) usually takes the skin graft
from a person's left arm, based on a set template. The clitoris
is cut off and nerves from it attached to nerves from the arm microsurgically.
The new penis will slowly regain feeling as the nerves grow and
reconnect.
Before having this surgery, hair removal of the arm is required
but if the person is hairy, in most cases the hair tends to grow
back. Not that having a hairy penis is the end of the world but
it can cause problems in the urethra because the urethra inside
the new penis is also made from skin from the arm. The urethra of
the phalloplasty is also more complicated than the urethra of the
meta because it has two joints, one where the old urethra is extended
upwards to the base of the penis and one where the extension connects
to the new penis.
For pre-phalloplasty
preparation, Alberta Health will cover 4 treatments (months) of
laser hair removal or electrolysis on the arm hair where the skin
graft will be taking place. However, it is recommended to pay the
extra money and start earlier, by at least 2 months -- especially
if you are having significant body hair growth. Otherwise, the remaining
hairs growing back within the urethra can be a painful thing to
endure.
If you have
smaller arms, it is also recommended to beef them up early. If the
phallo template wraps completely around your arm or falls short,
it could affect the result of the surgery significantly.
The first part of the surgery is creating the penis. It requires
3 weeks in Montreal. Some guys will need physical therapy for the
arm after surgery to get it's mobility and strength back. An erectile
implant can be inserted 9 months after the first surgery. A cylinder
is inserted into the penis and a pump and reservoir into the belly
usually going through the old scar from the hysto. A bulb in the
groin is used to pump the fluid from the reservoir into the cylinder
to make the penis hard. The testicle implants can be done 6 months
later.
The complication rate is almost 100%. Sometimes there are complications
with the urethra, stricture or fistula like with the meta. Sometimes
there are complications with the erectile device. Infection can
also happen both with the penis and arm. Normally the complications
can be worked out and everything works out in the end but it can
take some time and extra surgeries before that happens.
The scar on the arm will be noticable and people will ask about
it but most guys just make up a story about how it happened, got
burned, had a car accident etc.
This procedure
yields the most realistic-looking result thus far, but is not erectile
until the second surgery to insert the prosthetic pump implant.
After this appliance is in place and healed, the new penis can be
used for vaginal penetration. There has been some development in
using a dual pump to strengthen the penis more (i.e. for anal penetration),
but this cannot always be done.
Centurion
-- The Centurion is a variation of metoidioplasty in which the ligaments
from the sides of the labia are freed from the labia majora, and
brought together along the clitoris to provide girth for the new
penis. This leaves a hollowed-out area for a "pocket"
for scrotal implants. The labia major are later joined to form a
scrotal sac. A urethral extension to the tip of the new penis is
formed by joining skin flaps around a catheter that runs along the
underside of the clitoris. The catheter remains in place for about
two weeks until the new urethral extension has healed.
It is a natural
looking but small penis with full sensation. Erection occurs unassisted.
The resulting penis is usually quite small, however, and usually
can't be used for penetration.
Currently, this
procedure is only being performed by the surgeon who invented it,
Dr. Raphael, in Texas. Finding a way for AHC to cover surgery outside
Montreal is difficult (but may be possible, with some work).
Forthcoming
Surgical Procedures -- When information about new alternatives
arise, we will add as much as we can verify.
6)
Aftercare.
As with any
procedure, there is always risk of infection. With FTM bottom surgeries,
especially phalloplasty, it is crucial to watch out for bladder
or urinary tract infections, as they can have quick onset, spread
rapidly and become severe. Watch carefully for signs of infection
and have it addressed as early as possible.
Legal
Issues
1)
Legal Name Change -- In Alberta, the process requires a
number of steps, beginning with fingerprinting, which is done at
the central Police Station in your area. For legal name change situations
specifically, you will need to make an appointment for this purpose.
Once
this is done, you can apply for a legal name change at any Alberta
Registry, or through the Alberta Government Services Department
of Vital Statistics (10365 - 97 Street, Edmonton, T5J-3W7; 780-427-7013).
This will involve a registry fee of $180. You will need to bring
with you your fingerprint document, your Birth Certificate, any
divorce documentation (if recent and applicable).
Once
you receive your Legal Name Change certificate, you can also update
the following:
Birth
(and Marriage) Certificates. If you were born in Alberta,
this can also be done at a registry or through Vital Statistics.
You will require your Certificate of Name Change and other proof
of identity documents, and have to pay for a new certificate to
be issued to you. If you were born outside Alberta, you will need
to apply to the jurisdiction where your birth occurred. If you are
a landed immigrant, Immigration records are never changed following
a name change (to prove your legal name for identification purposes,
you will need to provide your immigration papers along with your
Change of Name Certificate). To obtain Citizenship documents showing
the new name, contact the Canadian Citizenship office for more information.
Social
Insurance Number. This can be done at a Service Canada
location, such as the one at Canada Place (Edmonton) or 6325 - 103
Street, Edmonton, T6H-5H6. You will require your Certificate of
Name Change and other proof of identity documents.
Driver's
License. This can be done at any Motor Vehicle Branch or
Registry. You will require your Certificate of Name Change and other
proof of identity documents.
Alberta
Health Care Card. This can be done at an Alberta Health
administration location (i.e. Main Floor, 10025 Jasper Avenue, Edmonton)
or via the Customer Services Branch, Box 1360, Edmonton, T5J-2N3.
2)
Changing the Gender Marker on Your I.D. In the case of
most of the above identification, the gender marker ("M"
or "F") will not change, until you can present
a letter from your surgeon that Gender Reassignment Surgery (GRS)
has been completed. On rare occasions, transgender people have had
an unthinking clerk change the gender specification on some documentation
(i.e. driver's licenses) by mistake, but this is unusual and not
policy. You can ask, but until you have the surgeons' letter, you
can't expect the gender notation to be changed. This leaves non-operative
transsexuals in an unfortunate situation, and some activist groups
are working toward gender recognition for those who have lived as
their preferred gender for some defined amount of time. There have
been some positive precedents of this, including a recent ruling
in Great Britain.
The
Way We Were Socialized
Although
transmen are largely psychologically male, they do not have the
benefit of having been socialized (raised) as such by through adolescence,
with parents to guide them into what they're supposed to know, and
peers to share the things that they're supposedly not supposed
to know. This not only means that they are at a disadvantage in
the beginning regarding things like dating, male bonding and the
like, they are also coming into a world where men are expected to
be aloof and stoic, while they once had the ability to be warmer
and more expressive.
Relating
To Men
--
Relating
To Women
--
Dating
And Relating To A Lover Or Potential Partner:
--
"When
Do You Tell Him/Her?"
The
question is first one of IF you need to tell a partner
that you've transitioned (or are transitioning) from the opposite
gender. People will often have strong viewpoints on either side
of this. It's basically an issue of whether you want to 1) tell
someone you're interested in now and risk having them run away without
ever getting to know you, 2) tell them later and risk having them
leave despite all the care and emotion you've invested in the relationship,
or 3) never tell them and risk having them find out another way,
making them feel often quite betrayed and angry. And honestly, none
of the three are particularily appealing. In all cases, the reaction
from a potential partner can often be a strong one -- it can even
lead to violence.
Although
there is the sense of bravado that says "if he (or she) doesn't
like it, then it's better not knowing him (or her)," but the
truth is that rejection always hurts regardless. What's more, once
you're out to someone, your origins in the other gender
may become a recurring point of contention in the relationship --
it may be thrown in your face frequently, or your partner may start
seeking out your female traits (physical, personality, etc.) and
find fault with them, whereas he or she might have remained
otherwise oblivious. If this doesn't happen, then at the very least
there is still the risk that in your partner's eyes, you might cease
to be "the buff guy who likes club music and visiting the art
galleries" and become just "the transsexual" -- as
if there are no other interesting facets about you beyond that point.
This can especially be a problem in that transmen are psychologically
male (or at least mostly so), but the stigma of being "transsexual"
will often make others think of you more as "female" or
"ex-female," than "male."
Everyone's
choice is different and valid. There is no shame in hiding
a transgendered past -- however, this can lead to the same sense
of living behind a mask as the one that drove you to transition
in the first place. Also, if your partner can tell that you're hiding
elements of your past (i.e. "why don't you have any childhood
photos?"), this can sow distrust in the relationship.
IF
your partner is ultimately going to find out, either because of
the way you pass or because her or his life overlaps your old female
life in any way, or for any other reason, earlier is undoubtedly
better -- there is always a far greater feeling of betrayal if it
is felt that a truth has been hidden for a longer period of time.
But it is not necessary to tell someone on day one. You
can get to know the person, give them the opportunity to discover
what they like about you, and give things the chance to "click."
Sometimes, the key to your partner accepting you depends on how
badly he or she wants to accept you. And if this person
does not know you at all, there is no reason for them to not walk
away.
If
you decide to tell, it's best to set aside a time, collect your
thoughts, and make it special and comfortable for both of you. Let
them know how much you value the partnership, and that you want
to share something very personal, that you rarely share with anyone
else (if, of course, it's true that you rarely tell anyone else).
And if your partner sees herself as strictly gay or sees himself
as strictly straight, be prepared for this person to need some time
to reassess things.
And
at that point, all that can be said is, "good luck...."
Additional
Resources
Hudson's
FTM Resource Guide
Nick
Gorton.org: Medical therapy and health maintenance
for transgender men -- a guide for health care providers
FTM
International
The
Transitional Male
FTM
Passing Tips
FTM
Alliance
TransMan's
Information Project
FTM
Network (UK)
The Whizzinator Packing Harness: An easy to conceal, easy to use urinating device with a very realistic prosthetic penis.
Important -- Catheter Use and Warnings: University of Ottawa instructions on urinary catheter usage pertaining to some packing devices.
Packing
Harness Instructions: To make a cheap packing harness.
Prosthetics
for FTM's: A great place to buy soft packs cheap.
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